Lillykra Sphynx
Gryffindor
Animagus: Siberian Tiger Water Elemental
It's hard to tell whether the world we live in is reality or a dream.
Posts: 40
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Post by Lillykra Sphynx on Jun 19, 2008 20:05:04 GMT -8
"I doubt you'd be able to find your way out of here,"Lillykra stated simply as she sat down. "Any newbie could get themselves lost in this mess of trees."
A yawn escaped her lips as she laid down in the dirt. Her hair sprawled out around her, and she stared up into the sky.
"So tell me a little bit about yourself, Ren," she continued. "I keep talking as it is. You know what's weird? Girls hate getting dirty. I don't know why. If they see even the tiniest bit of dirt or grime on them it's like the world is ending. I don't get it. Do you? Oh, whatever, it's a stupid subject, so never mind."
She laughed to herself quietly.
"Why do I talk so much?" Lillykra asked aloud. "You've barely said anything this whole time. Come on, you start talking."
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Post by Renshaavik Encougne on Jun 19, 2008 20:11:51 GMT -8
Ren watched her lie down in the dirt, her hair spread out like some golden halo. He shook his head, and concentrated on what she was saying instead. Then he smiled slightly, rolling his eyes. "I doubt I'd ever find my way out of here either. Just don't tease me about it. It's my first time out here, you know. I doubt you were this certain on your first trip out here either."
She continued talking, and he sighed, lying down as well. She switched subjects very rapidly, and if he wanted to have any hopes of keeping up with her, he realized it would take a while. He would rather not remain standing for the entirety of the conversation.
"Girls want to be perfect for guys," he replied on impulse, then winced, realizing that he was making a generalization. "Sorry...it just seems like it to me. I always thought it was useless for girls to take up so much time making themselves look perfect, when guys rarely even take note of all their effort anyway."
He laughed then as she wondered aloud why she was talking so much. "I was wondering the same thing," he admitted. "You aren't leaving me much room to talk, but now that I have the chance I really don't know what to say. I like silence. Most people feel the need to fill spaces with meaningless chatter, but not me. A silent, accompanying presence can be just as comforting in my eyes."
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Lillykra Sphynx
Gryffindor
Animagus: Siberian Tiger Water Elemental
It's hard to tell whether the world we live in is reality or a dream.
Posts: 40
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Post by Lillykra Sphynx on Jun 19, 2008 20:31:41 GMT -8
"That's weird," Lillykra commented. "I just talk and talk because, well, it's what I do. I can sit in silence all I want, but I think it's so boring. I'd rather be a part of an engaging conversation instead of sitting in complete and total silence. It's like sitting in a classroom while there's a test going on. Anyway, I need to shut up. Please, go ahead and interrupt me. If you don't I won't stop, kind of like right now. Okay, shutting face."
She closed her mouth tightly. Sitting in silence was a hard thing for her. But she did her best to keep her talkativeness to nothing. After a few minutes, however, she failed completely.
"AH! I can't keep my mouth shut. Honestly, start talking or something!!!"
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Post by Renshaavik Encougne on Jun 19, 2008 20:37:41 GMT -8
Ren laughed openly, rolling onto his side and propping his head up with his elbow.
Teasingly, he said, "I think you wouldn't survive 5 minutes as the only person on earth. With nobody to talk to and nothing to say you'd surely explode.
"If you want to talk about something, then feel free. I'm a terrible conversation starter, but if you're so intent on talking, then I'm all for it. I can reply and comment all you want."
He watched her, trying to figure her out. She was a strange one. She liked to explore the Forbidden Forest on her own, and yet she was driven insane by the idea of sitting in silence for more than a few moments. It seemed as though she was always talking...But he was still fascinated by her, simply because of the fact that she was difficult to read or to get a first impression from. She was the kind of person who he felt he would have to look deeper in order to truly understand.
"Maybe if you concentrated on being at peace rather than on how uncomfortable it makes you feel not to be talking, you wouldn't balk at the idea of sitting in silence and enjoying company that way. But I don't mind talking. I can do either one. By the way, how come I've never seen you around before? I don't really recognize your face...I don't know if you recognize me, but this is the first time we've met, to my knowledge."
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Lillykra Sphynx
Gryffindor
Animagus: Siberian Tiger Water Elemental
It's hard to tell whether the world we live in is reality or a dream.
Posts: 40
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Post by Lillykra Sphynx on Jun 19, 2008 20:54:20 GMT -8
"Actually, I think I'd be able to survive as the only person on Earth. I just like to talk. It doesn't mean I have to be talking to someone else. I talk to myself all the time. You're a weird one. I haven't seen you around much either. Maybe, occasionally, but not formally met you. But now I have, so what does it matter? It's in the past. I try not to dwell on the past so much, except for recalling fond memories. The funny thing is that I don't think much about the present either. I'm always thinking about the future. I don't know why I do though."
Lillykra paused for a moment to turn and lay on her side so that she was facing Ren. Almost at once she noticed his stony blue eyes. They were very pretty, she realized.
"Oh, I love your eyes," she continued as though she hadn't stopped. "They're very pretty. Do people ever give you compliments? I remember one time I told a friend he looked nice and he had no idea how to reply. I asked him if people ever complimented other people anymore and he told me no. I was shocked! What's happening to our world? Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter very much because he was a Muggle friend. I don't really care for the Muggle world because it's so corrupt. Gosh, especially America.
"I used to live there you know. I was there until I was around five years old. My grandmother was dying then, so we had to come to Britain to be with her. When she passed away my parents inherited her house and everything else she owned. We've been living there ever since. What about you? Have you moved anywhere? Got any siblings?"
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Post by Renshaavik Encougne on Jun 19, 2008 21:03:52 GMT -8
Ren watched her lips moving mostly, fascinated by how many words she could make tumble out of that mouth at once. He became almost mesmerized by their motion, the words that she actually uttered seeming to reach his ears with a delay of at least 5 seconds. It was like watching a playback in slow motion.
He nodded a lot, mostly listening to her constant babble. Occasionally he managed to insert comments such as "Yes, well, I prefer to think about the here and now, but I do occasionally think about the past and future as well," and other similar replies to her constant stream of chit chat.
Then she turned around on her side so she was facing him. His eyes wandered up to hers, and for a split second, he felt the strange, almost uncomfortably intimate feeling of their eyes locking together, and then he returned to watching her mouth move. He shifted, taken aback, as she commented on his eyes, and he mumbled what could be taken as a thanks if she imagined hard enough and if he hadn't been somewhat burying his mouth in his shirt collar.
"Your eyes are pretty as well," he replied softly, just before she continued on with her rant. "Compliments are few and far between these days. I don't mind them though. Most people learn to live without them, I suppose, since it's not a very frequent part of everyday life. I've never lived in America, however, so I wouldn't know about that...I haven't got any siblings either."
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Lillykra Sphynx
Gryffindor
Animagus: Siberian Tiger Water Elemental
It's hard to tell whether the world we live in is reality or a dream.
Posts: 40
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Post by Lillykra Sphynx on Jun 19, 2008 21:23:38 GMT -8
"Thanks," Lillykra replied. "I like giving people compliments simply because it puts a smile on their face. It's so rare nowadays that people get a little taken aback. I seem to like that reaction for some reason. Although I do wish that I could get compliments in return. But I don't complain. I've learned to accept life and move on.
"That's another thing about me my friends don't get. The can't understand why I constantly help people, why I'm always there for someone in need of advice. Even my parents don't get it. They tease me about it and tell me I should get paid for my services. I keep telling them I don't want to get paid, but they don't get it. I help people because I want them to be happy, not for my own personal gains. Even if my friends have something good happen in their life, and I get jealous, I always congratulate them on it. I want them to be happy no matter what.
"I haven't met another person like me that cares so much about other people's well being. The funny thing about it though, is that I constantly down myself. Even though I know I'm doing it I still do it. Does that make sense? If you've ever read a Muggle book called 1984, there's a word in there "doublethink, that explains it. It means that there's two different things that cancel each other out but you accept both of them. That's how I am. I know I down myself, but at the same time I convince myself I'm not.
"So, it's accepting two cancellations. It's a weird but fascinating concept, I think. My friends hate it though. I don't think they've bothered to read a Muggle book in their lives. They're the type of people who won't read it unless they have to. Sometimes it's hard for me to understand them. I don't know. I'm weird like that, I guess.
"Anyways, different subject. What year are you in? What are your favorite classes? Who's your favorite teacher? What's it like being in Hufflepuff? Are the people in there really dreadful and lame like people say? From your disposition, I'd have to think otherwise. What about the rumors of a new Dark Lord? Do you believe them? I kind of do. I guess it's left over fear from the reign of Voldemort. But, I think that if a new horror like him rose, every person with any magical ability would stand up and fight. Unless they're sneaky about it. I don't know, what do you think?"
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Post by Renshaavik Encougne on Jun 19, 2008 21:42:55 GMT -8
Ren nodded, listening to what Lilly had to say. It seemed as though they had met at just the right time. If he wasn't horribly misjudging her, it would seem that this girl had a lot on her mind, and a heavy load on her shoulders. Perhaps if he were there for her to talk to and get some of her issues off of her shoulders, he could help her out a great deal. She seemed like a very nice girl, after all, and he liked what he knew about her so far.
He replied, "Yes, I've read that book, and that notion has always fascinated me. I don't know that I've ever personally experienced it, although it seems feasible. It's a natural tendency for people to cancel one thing out with another, and then just accept it as commonplace. Most of my friends wouldn't touch a book either unless their lives depended on it," he continued, half-laughing with the image of one of his friends holding a book, a disgusted look on their face.
He tried his best to answer her rapid-firing of questions. He had a feeling all this senseless talking was covering up what she wished she could truly talk about. 'Perhaps that's why she's talking so much,' he mused to himself, before returning to answering her string of questions. 'Maybe if I listen to her enough, she'll tell me what's really going on. I've heard a couple of things within her speech that hints at something bigger and deeper going on with this girl...'
He decided that the best thing he could do for Lilly at the moment was to listen, and to be there for her to talk to when she needed.
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Lillykra Sphynx
Gryffindor
Animagus: Siberian Tiger Water Elemental
It's hard to tell whether the world we live in is reality or a dream.
Posts: 40
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Post by Lillykra Sphynx on Jun 19, 2008 23:30:07 GMT -8
Lillykra smiled, suddenly quieted at the remnants of thoughts rummaging around in her brain. She couldn't seem to stop thinking about her lost love. She began to wonder what he was doing, where he was at, who he was with... all the things she shouldn't be thinking about at all. It was madness, complete and utter madness in her heart. What was she to do? If she didn't stop thinking about him, if she didn't get him out of her head, she'd never be able to go on with her life.
Maybe she should tell Ren how she was feeling, she thought as she laid down on her back again. He was listening to all of her rambling so far. No, she shouldn't do that. Putting her problems on someone else's shoulders was not the way to go. She should just deal with them herself. After all, she'd been dealing with her own problems for years. But this was different. It was stronger and much more present in her mind. He was her first kiss, her first love. It had already been two and a half months since they'd broken up.
Lillykra wiped her eyes. She didn't realize she was crying. She took a deep breath and sat up. Her rare demeanor of depression, moodiness, and sadness took over for the hundredth time that day. This was her initial reason for being in the forest in the first place. Apparently her previous attempt didn't work. Her fixed stare on the endless amounts of trees before her made her look as though she were evidence of the living dead. Her chest rose and fell methodically, but her expression was emotionless and empty.
Whenever this disposition took over her being, it was always a sudden occurrence. One moment she could be happy-go-lucky and carefree, and the next she'd start acting like this. It only happened whenever she had a lot on her mind or something was making her depressed. In this case, it was both. At the same time she was fighting with herself. On one hand, she wanted to pour her heart and soul out for Ren to hear. On the other, she didn't want to appear weak, sullen, downtrodden, or any of those things.
In the course of her rampaging thoughts, Lillykra started speaking. She was only half conscious of what she was saying, although the words were flowing pretty rapidly out of her mouth.
"Have you ever been in love?" she asked. "I mean, most people think it's all about buying gifts for the other person, holding hands with them, giving them kisses, and other stuff like that. I thought it was that way too. Let me clarify, before this year I was dating a Muggle boy. We were together for a little over a year. I never told him that I was a witch though. He ended up finding out when I accidentally let slip something about my homework. I don't remember what it was exactly, but yeah. I had to tell him the full story about my hidden life. Surprisingly he wasn't at all upset or afraid that I was a witch. However, he was upset that I had lied to him all this time.
"So, we ended up splitting ways. He went on with his life like I never even existed. I went on with my life wondering about him every single moment. Every time I saw him I couldn't help but stare. And for a long time I thought I loved him. God, I hate it!!! I hate the fact that I can't get him off my mind. That lying, conniving jerk!--" Lillykra was shouting by now "--He told me he'd never be mean to me. He promised! But he lied! That stupid butthead lied! I loved him... I loved him so much and he crushed my heart in the dirt after we ended it.
"I can't believe him. He still won't talk to me too. I've tried saying hi to him whenever I see him; I've even sent a letter or two. But he won't even look at me. Dear God, he won't even look at me.--" Now she was crying. "--I can't believe him. I thought I loved him. Back then I did love him. But now... Now I know it was just puppy love. Yet why can't I get him out of my head? I still wonder what he's doing.
"I honestly don't know what to do anymore. To be completely honest, I was so heart broken by the whole ordeal that I tried to kill myself. My brother was there with me, thank God. I don't think I've told you about him. I have a twin brother named Tristoy. I love him to death, and he cares about me a lot. He's in my house too. I'll introduce you to him sometime. Anyway, now I'm just confused about this whole situation. But already I feel better for telling someone. I didn't even tell Tristoy how badly I felt. My parents don't know either.
"I'm terribly sorry for telling you all this stuff. I shouldn't be putting my problems on your shoulders since we just met. Please forgive me. Gosh, I'm really bad... You have your own problems to think about and here I am, a stupid newcomer, telling you everything on my mind. Stupid, stupid, stupid. That's all I am. Stupid."
Lillykra, by now, was in tears with her face in her hands. A heavy heart plus tons of issues added up into one confused, heartbroken girl. She quietly thanked God she wasn't wearing any makeup, or else it'd be running down her face. For the moment she'd forgotten that Ren was sitting next to her. She didn't care about anything anymore, really. (Well, in reality she did, but for now not so much.) All she could do was cry and cry and cry.
And in reality, that was the best thing for her.
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Post by Renshaavik Encougne on Jun 20, 2008 23:17:56 GMT -8
[OOC: Dang, girl. Care to make that post any longer? You're making me look bad! >_<]
Ren listened in silence as Lilly suddenly broke down into tears and ranting. He learned of her past boyfriend and how it had ended so suddenly.
She was crying for most of it, and telling her story in a quavering voice for the other part. He felt just terrible. He hadn't often seen girls cry, and truthfully, he really didn't know how on earth to deal with it when it did happen to him.
"There, there..." he said, somewhat awkwardly putting his hand on her shoulder and patting gently. "It sounds like you cared about him very much. I wouldn't blame yourself. I've never had a girlfriend, so I can't fully relate to what you're going through...but I'm sure it must be just awful for you.
"I don't mind you telling me your troubles. Everyone needs a shoulder to lean on. Besides, I don't mind. I'd be happy to be a listening ear for you to get some things off your shoulders. You're a very interesting person when you're happy, and when you're sad like this, well, all I'd like is if I could maybe make you happy again."
He smiled, hoping she would feel better to know that he was here. It was possible she wouldn't want him there...but still, it might be nice for her to know there was somebody who cared.
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Lillykra Sphynx
Gryffindor
Animagus: Siberian Tiger Water Elemental
It's hard to tell whether the world we live in is reality or a dream.
Posts: 40
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Post by Lillykra Sphynx on Jun 20, 2008 23:51:05 GMT -8
Lillykra wiped her eyes and stood up. She barely noticed Ren patting her on the back, nor his kind words. She was so caught up in her own thoughts and feelings...
Without another word she took off, running further and further into the forest. She tripped and fell many times over tree roots, the cuts and bruises continued to add up, and her well being was dying every moment. All she wanted to do was run, run until she couldn't anymore. She hated all the feelings she had for her ex, she hated that she was weak, and above all she hated that she'd just told everything to a complete stranger. What was wrong with her? Honestly...
Finally, after a bit of sprinting, Lillykra collapsed to the forest floor, near the area where she saved that centaur. Tears continued to run down her face as she leaned up against the trunk of a nearby tree.
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Post by Renshaavik Encougne on Jun 21, 2008 0:30:48 GMT -8
Ren felt her standing up through the tears. He tensed. Then she suddenly bolted. Swearing, he flung himself after her. He was NOT getting lost.
She weaved in between trees blindly, her sobs drifting back through the trees into his ears. This was definitely an upset person. There was something terribly wrong with Lilly; apparently she'd gone through a lot of trauma what with her breakup and possibly other issues.
Ren gritted his teeth, and dug his feet into the ground as he sprinted after her rapidly-fleeing figure. She was so blinded by her misery that she hardly realized what she was doing or where she was going.
Suddenly, she flung herself down to the ground, and resumed crying, half propped-up against a tree. He panted nearby, his hands on his knees, trying to remain silent so he wouldn't disturb her. Internally, however, his mind was thinking, wondering what he could do to ease her pain. She seemed very hesitant to accept help or assistance of any kind.
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Lillykra Sphynx
Gryffindor
Animagus: Siberian Tiger Water Elemental
It's hard to tell whether the world we live in is reality or a dream.
Posts: 40
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Post by Lillykra Sphynx on Jun 21, 2008 11:38:11 GMT -8
Lillykra wiped her puffy eyes, smearing dirt across her face. She wasn't aware of Ren's presence as she sat and moped. Her thoughts were just as tangled as her hair, and she couldn't make heads or tails of what she wanted. Silently she wished that all of her problems would just disappear. But no, that would never happen.
Suddenly Lilly could hear panting. Her ears pricked up before she moved, and her eyes darted in every direction to search for the source of the noise. And then she saw Ren, doubled over and breathing heavily. This surprised her to a certain extent. She never really thought that he would run after her, since they had just met.
He only did it so he wouldn't get lost Lilly thought unhappily. He doesn't actually care. No one really cares, except for maybe Tristoy, but he doesn't know and he's never going to know. You're on your own with this one...
The poor girl sighed as she attempted to clean herself up. But after about two minutes she realized it would be no use. She was a complete mess: dirt covered almost every part of her exposed body, mainly her face, her eyes were puffy she was covered with cuts and bruises. She was certainly a sight to see.
With a heavy heart and confused mind she rose from her spot on the ground and knelt down before Ren. She felt horrible for making him chase after her, even though she was sure it wasn't for her well being.
"Sorry for making you run after me," Lilly said quietly as her hair fell into her face. "I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I mean, first I throw my problems on your shoulders, expecting you to help in some way even though I really wasn't, then I run off like some little girl that can't handle herself, making you run after me, and now here I am begging for forgiveness like an idiot. I'm really, really sorry."
And, once again, tears trickled down her filthy cheeks. She covered her face with her hands as her shoulders shook with her sobs. Why did she always do this to people? It was her curse to be weak and a curse to damn others to her emotional state. She couldn't believe that this was all because of him, but at the same time she knew that he truly broke her heart.
Broke it into thousands of tiny pieces...
Lilly wiped the tears away again and stood up, brushing dirt and leaves off her clothes. She stood up and rubbed her face again.
"Let's get out of here," she said.
Without waiting for a response, she started off in the direction they'd come, stepping over roots and stumps, and continuing to get scratched up by stray branches. She never stopped to rest, and hoped that Ren was still behind. If he got lost...
Well, she didn't want to think about that.
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Post by Renshaavik Encougne on Jun 25, 2008 20:00:41 GMT -8
Ren felt awful, watching Lilly trying to string together a coherent apology through her tangled hair and tears that ran streaks down her face.
"Look, it's--" he began, trying to tell her that he understood, but she continued, quaveringly. He hated seeing girls cry. It was like a tangible ache in his own chest, as though her great pain had all been revealed to him.
He longed to comfort her, help her, anything to take away her misery and whatever it was that was making her feel so terrible.
But she was already bringing it back inside her. He could see it, in her deep, steadying breaths, her calming expression. She was bringing her tough exterior back up over her broken insides. Then she stood, her tears gone, the quaver in her voice replaced with steady, calm monotone.
He followed.
He wished he knew what else to do. "Lilly, look--I--Uh..." he started, feeling a little idiotic. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, opened them again, and continued in a great rush, "Um...I really meant what I...what I said. I'd really like to help unless...you know, if you don't want to talk I understand, it just seems like you're going through a lot of stuff and I kind of feel like I should do something even though I just met you and maybe that seems a little stupid but I really don't like seeing girls cry and I just thought maybe you could use a friend but if not that's okay too because after all you really don't know me and...I really should just shut up now...Uh...Yeah...you probably don't want to think about it so I'm just going to walk now."
He ducked his head, feeling the heat rush to his face. He hunched his shoulders, trying to hide it. 'God, I feel dumb. Why did I say that. Probably thinks I'm some stalker freak now. Great. Fabulous. Whooo, way to go, Mr. Sensitivity,' he thought miserably.
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Lillykra Sphynx
Gryffindor
Animagus: Siberian Tiger Water Elemental
It's hard to tell whether the world we live in is reality or a dream.
Posts: 40
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Post by Lillykra Sphynx on Jun 25, 2008 20:25:49 GMT -8
Lilly immediately stopped. Ren's run on sentence floated into her ears, and as she continued to listen her heart fluttered. She whipped around quickly and threw out her arms to embrace Ren.
"Thank you," she whispered.
She let her arms fall to her sides as a smile appeared on her face. Every piece of sadness she'd obtained over the months died down a little bit. Of course, it was still there inside her, but for the time being she saw an ounce of hope for the future. She didn't want to stay sad forever, but she'd never seen any way for her to get out of the situation.
After a moment passed of standing in silence, Lilly turned on her heel and continued through the forest, this time more slowly than before. The little bit of hope was still ardent in her heart as she trudged onwards past the dying trees and overgrown bushes. Maybe, just maybe, she'd found her way out.
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